Miranda Read online

  He did not enter until confirming that it was I who was speaking. He smiled because he could not hide the (un)pleasant surprise.

  “Wise,” he smiled at me approvingly, “you’re punctual today.”

  The fragrance of his cologne eased the tension in the air. I tried to say little. I merely told him about the people who would be keeping us company this evening.

  Eliezer was paying attention to me. He did not stop looking at me even when the words stopped.

  ***

  The night went just as planned. Dinner lasted a couple of hours. The Chinese left satisfied. There were plenty of respectful bows. The contract was signed to the benefit of both parties.

  I said goodbye to Eliezer with a handshake at the hotel. He appeared to be satisfied with the new investment and the course on which Medika was embarking. When he entered the elevator and disappeared from my view, I felt free.

  I went to the bar and ordered a draft beer. Congratulations, Miranda, you shined tonight. I made a toast to myself and drank.

  “Congratulations, Wise.”

  I didn’t realize that my stomach could crawl up my back, but when I heard the voice of my heartless boss, I felt like that’s what was happening. I didn’t turn to look at him. I didn’t even thank him. He, on the other hand, approached and pulled up the chair next to me. He ordered the same thing I was having.

  I looked away from him and looked around the place. Besides the couples and friends that were kissing or celebrating, there was no one else that could save me from the discomfort. There was a man at the other end of the bar who did not engender trust. He looked at me like a predator. Eliezer also noticed him, readjusting his own chair so as to block the stranger’s view of me.

  “What more were you expecting to find here, Wise? The future father of your children?” He took a sip.

  I turned to him.

  “Did you come to celebrate, give me a lesson, or be like that poor devil?”

  Eliezer smiled and bit the corner of his lower lip.

  “How difficult you make my life, Wise. Should I choose one, all, or none?”

  He had taken off the bowtie. He was wearing his suit with the first few buttons of his shirt undone and the collar relaxed. I didn’t answer. All I could think of was how attractive he looked sitting there, the after-hours executive look, beer in hand, challenging me.

  “Don’t you know what to respond, Clausell?”

  Eliezer got close. He whispered in my ear, “Do it for me.”

  I let out a short laugh. “That one’s on me. Have a wonderful night.”

  I left my beer and some yuan on the counter.

  After a half hour, he was knocking on my door. If it wasn’t because he drank both beer mugs, then it was because it took him time to realize, or believe, that I had intentionally left one of the key cards to my room beside the money on the counter.

  “May I help you?”

  He was silent. He wet his lips with his tongue. He wasn’t expecting that I’d greet him in a white hanfu. His eyes bugged out.

  “You forgot this, Wise.” He reached out with the key card in his hand.

  “What makes you think it’s mine?”

  “You didn’t seem interested in the guy at the bar,” he smiled and clarified, “…the other guy at the bar. The idea of going from room to room to figure out what door that key would open seemed interesting, but there was a serious risk that I might find someone dressed… like that.”

  I returned his lip-wetting gesture, approached him, and fixed his shirt collar.

  “Are you conservative, Clausell?”

  His chest heaved as if he were trying to hold his breath and not have to breathe heavily again.

  “Cautious.”

  “Oh, really?” I outlined the shape of his shoulders with my fingers.

  Grab him. Kidnap him in your room and don’t let him go free until he begs you, Miranda!

  I was analyzing the possible consequences of my crazy ideas when he moved his torso into my room and tossed the key card on the nightstand. He placed a hand on my waist and ogled at me from head to toe before leaving.

  “Black suits you better, Wise.”

  Was that a compliment or an insult? I laughed on the inside.

  Disappointed with the ridiculous plan of fooling around with him again, I took the card on the nightstand and threw it against the wall. He pulled another key card out from his jacket and walked towards the adjoining room. I then realized that there were two cards and that my room and his were connected by a shared door. The words that the employee at the check-in desk told me that morning were glowing in my mind like a neon sign: Your boss already arranged everything for you.

  Eliezer Clausell was very cautious, no doubt. He wanted me to follow the rules of his game. Whatever would happen, would happen in his room, not mine. I stood there, in front of the door: was it the entrance to heaven, or hell? Miranda, this can’t be given too much thought. Do whatever you want, but do it now!

  I unlocked my door and slowly turned the knob. Just as I imagined, his door was open. There was the cautious man, waiting for me. He was removing his shoes at the edge of the bed, looking toward the door with a slight smile on his face.

  “You forgot this.”

  I leaned over and placed the card on the line between the two doors, a neutral spot.

  Eliezer chuckled. He had unbuttoned his shirt and was not wearing pants. I looked at his crotch and gave him a look of pleasure. Alex was right. I needed sex more often.

  “You couldn’t have left it under the door, Wise?”

  “I prefer to leave it at the door, Clausell.”

  He finished taking off his socks and walked toward me, up to the dividing line and observing me with caution.

  “What level of risk do you want to assume tonight, Eliezer?”

  He brushed his hair with his hand and said in a whisper: “The one that you can’t use against me later.”

  If he wasn’t willing to run a risk, why should I? We were even.

  He took me by the waist and held me against the doorframe. On the dividing line… that is where Eliezer, the cautious one, wanted us. Our chests connected at the rhythm of our agitated heartbeats. He let his heavy gaze fall into my eyes to see if he could find the answer to the obvious question: do you have any idea what we’re doing?

  No, I had no idea; and apparently, neither did he.

  “I told you that you should have left it under the door,” he said as he wet his lips.

  “You still don’t get it that I don’t like following your instructions?” I finished the sentence in my head: Unless you command me to surrender at your feet…

  He tilted his head. He wanted to read between my lines. He moved his face close to my ear and breathed.

  “I insist that black suits your better.”

  “That’s can easily be solved.”

  I undid the belt on the hanfu and it slipped open to display my black lingerie.

  I’ll never be able to forget the arousal that gripped Eliezer’s face. He roamed my body with his rough hands and filled them with my breasts. He caressed them forcefully.

  “On second thought, I don’t think I like the black either.”

  “Before I could give the slight a second thought, Eliezer brushed the hanfu that was hanging from my shoulders aside. He savored the silks that guarded the booty he had discovered. He took off my bra and pulled down my panties.

  I wanted to strip him too… to rid him of his shirt and his briefs that shamelessly marked his firm erection. Playing on the dividing line maintained equity between us, but he would not allow it. He took hold of my hands, raised them over my head, and forced me against the metal doorframe even more. The feeling of cold metal eased with the heat of my skin.

  He didn’t have to struggle to find the space between my legs. Among the rush of feelings, I began to watch him, to study him. His seriousness confused me. Some moments he seemed to enjoy the pleasure, other times his face would change, as
if he were angry with himself for enjoying what he was doing. His lips gently caressed my sex. His tongue punished me with fury. Timidly, I tried to control my moans, which was impossible with the unequaled pleasure that Eliezer’s maneuvers caused. My body was flooded by an overdose of that man.

  Am I liberating you from your demons, with this, Clausell?

  “I like the sound of your voice when you moan.”

  He paused while he took off the only piece of intimate clothing he was wearing. It was the perfect moment to get away, and I didn’t. I prolonged it. It was the first time that he admitted liking something about me.

  He roamed my body with kisses and caresses, as I swayed like a suspension bridge, from side to side. For as much as I wanted to regain control of the situation, it was impossible. Eliezer was in charge of every one of my sensations… my moans… my quivering.

  He moved my legs up around his waist and moved my hands over my head once more.

  He penetrated me without warning, suddenly and furiously, without stopping, every time more deeply and more forcefully.

  “Defenseless,” he whispered in between movements.

  There was no compassion in his attack. He showed no mercy. I would not have wanted it any other way.

  By the time sanity returned to our rooms, it was too late: there were only traces of what we had done without crossing the dividing line. We found ourselves on the floor, on our sides, each with a pillow, sharing Eliezer’s bed comforter on the carpet of desire, exhausted, speaking in silent glances, letting regret rest between us, right on the dividing line.

  ***

  I woke up in my bed, clothed.

  The door that connected to Eliezer’s room was shut.

  Eliezer

  “She fell in your game. Or did you fall into hers? Dummkopf2!”

  The warm air of Christmas Eve overwhelmed Medika and the city. Many had said their goodbyes the day before, others were lucky enough to be on vacation for a week, and a few worked until mid afternoon. I was not among any of those people. It was seven in the evening and there was still no end in sight to the list of emails that I had to send out before taking a few days off. I didn’t want to leave anything pending.

  I looked away from the monitor to rest my eyes when I noticed a circle of light that lit the area outside my office. By the position of the light, I figured there was someone in Eliezer’s office.

  Forgetting about my email, I tiptoed that way and found him at his desk, reading documents and reports from who knows what companies. He looked tired. His shirt was unbuttoned half way down the collar, the sleeves were rolled up, and his forearms were exposed. My memory was playing pranks on me, and suddenly I remembered how those forearms had held my hips and prevented me from crossing the dividing line between two rooms at a hotel in China.

  I turned to return to my office and his voice called out to me. I shut my eyes.

  “Hello, Wise. What plans do you have for tomorrow? Something special, I imagine.” I turned and Eliezer put down the papers. He looked at me. It took me a few seconds to process the question and respond.

  “Nothing.”

  He shrugged.

  “May you enjoy doing nothing.”

  He smiled and went back to his pen and papers. I was about to make a mistake: to invite him to anything or for him to be part of my Christmas Eve routine, but I overcame the impulse because, somehow, I knew it was one of those potentially life altering moments. I let his answer stand–an answer like that did not deserve any more thought–and I returned to finish my tasks.

  As long as I can remember, I always connected Christmas season with sadness. I couldn’t help a feeling of envy in my heart, though I was not proud of that. I knew that I should be happy for those who could celebrate big, surrounded by family and friends. Be that as it may, my heart cried out year after year: my family circle was diminished and consisted of strangers, namely Norman, Margaret, and Alex.

  Perhaps my eternal feeling of loneliness was the reason I did the things I did on Christmas Eve and Christmas: looking for new meaning in those days, always spending Christmas Eve alone at home after dinner with whomever invited me, and Christmas lunch with Norman.

  ***

  The thought of having Eliezer as my companion during my Christmas tasks was with me all night. I could barely sleep. What persistence!

  He was the perfect candidate for the position of “suitable company.” There was nothing between us, at least not as long as we lived in the real world. Once outside of it, alone and separated from our daily affairs, we would transform into other people. It wasn’t that he was a different man, but it did take a huge effort to silence his demons, his traumas, that hunger to be unfaithful to the terrible loneliness that haunted him for so many moons.

  At nine in the morning I took the cell phone, looked for his number in the directory, and mustered the courage to touch the screen and start dialing.

  “Miranda.”

  “Clausell,” I said, greeting him and taking the necessary time to repeat the sound of his voice saying my name in my mind. When I spoke again, my voice was high-pitched, “Good morning!”

  Eliezer’s response made me think that he had installed hidden cameras in my room and in my mind.

  “Very good morning. Was it that difficult for you to call?”

  I could not allow him to think that he was right, that I had been thinking about him for so many hours, so my response was quick and clear, although not very convincing.

  “No, no. I pulled my telephone out of my purse and I accidentally dialed your number. It’s not polite to hang-up on a call without saying good morning.”

  “Is that the best excuse you have, Wise? Let me tell you that you are not very creative.”

  I took a deep breath and by the slight, odd noise I heard at the other end of the line, I imagine that Eliezer was smiling. I took off my armor.

  “Would you like to go with me somewhere?”

  “And what makes you think that I would be interested in going anywhere with you?”

  I smiled and bit my lip.

  “The fact that you still have not ended the call.”

  Eliezer laughed.

  “Should I wear my pants?”

  This time, I was the one laughing.

  “If you feel more comfortable, yes.”

  My eardrum caught the muted snort of his muffled chuckle.

  “Will we get into trouble, Ms. Wise?”

  More than we have already would be difficult, I thought, but I said, “Worried, Clausell?”

  “Not at all. Time and type of clothing?”

  “I’ll pick you up in 60 minutes.” I was about to hang up when I remembered another detail. “Clausell!” I yelled so that he could hear me and not press the darn red button.

  “I’m still here, Miranda,” his voice calm.

  “It may not be prudent for you to not have your pants on, and on tight, with a belt.”

  I pressed the button to end the call before hearing his laugh or his declining the invitation. I got out of bed and while I showered and put on my make-up, I fantasized about possible scenarios during the day. All of them, absolutely all of them, led me to two versions: either the day would turn out fine, almost perfect, or very bad, a tragedy. It was that simple.

  With Eliezer nearby, there was a rule: every event that involved both of us began and ended badly… usually, in bed, Miranda Wise.

  It was Christmas Eve, for heavens sake. Something out of the ordinary would be appropriate. I put on my favorite jeans and a blouse with pink shades that I had not worn yet.

  ***

  I dialed Eliezer’s number while parked in front of his imposing residential high rise. It rang three times when someone suddenly tapped on the window next to the passenger’s seat of my car. My heartbeat quickened.

  Outside, Eliezer was waving his iPhone at me, showing me the display where there was only the letter “W” to indicate an incoming call. I smiled and ended the call. So “W” is how he
labeled me on his cell phone. At least it wasn’t International.

  Just as I was opening my door to get out and greet him, I could see Eliezer’s expression change. No more smile. There was a woman on the sidewalk facing him. He turned around and walked over to her. They spoke for a few minutes. It appeared as if they were smoothing out a disrespectful conversation. At first, they were both talking at once, but then he was silent and listened. While the woman talked and talked, he sneaked a few furtive glances at me. It seemed as if his eyes were telling me that he had been surprised by the situation. He tired after a few minutes, and left the woman mid-sentence, abandoning the unfinished conversation. He walked back to my car, I unlocked the door, he opened it, and sat down. He fiddled with the side buttons on the phone. He put it in his pocket, sighed, and turned towards me with the same smile as before.

  “Hello, Miranda. Where are we going?” He rubbed his hands together–an expression of enthusiasm in the face of uncertainty.

  I looked out and around. The woman had disappeared. I turned to look into Eliezer’s green eyes and I thought, that if he didn’t give me any explanations about what had happened, there was nothing to worry about. I moved the stick shift without disengaging the brake.

  “It’s a surprise.”

  “Didn’t you have anyone better to keep you company?”

  With a quick head movement I threw my hair back and gave him a flirtatious look.

  “Options one and two didn’t accept. They weren’t available.”

  The smile that had accompanied his suggestive questions vanished.

  “So, I’m number three,” he remarked with a grim voice, tasting the feeling of not being my first choice. “You know, next time invite all three of us ahead of time. Something that involves four promises to be very interesting.”

  I continued his game.

  “I’ll take that into consideration.”

  He continued the game.

  “So plan the next invitation.”

  “That depends on how you behave today, Clausell.”

  “I’ll wait for that invitation, Wise.” He had the malevolent look that transported me to other encounters where there were no inhibitions between us.